Blogger Blitz Round 4: Matchmaker

You know, after an accidental hiatus it’s interesting that the post I come back with isn’t a recipe.  It’s not even a Thursday Thought.  It’s a competition.  So to kick off being back from vacation and back on track I’m going to spend the next 500 words (after this intro, judges!  Don’t start counting now!) convincing you that Link, our very own Hero of Life, the Universe, and Everything can play matchmaker with only his impressive collection of skills.  This competition, hosted by Ian at Adventure Rules, is called the Blogger Blitz.  If you want to know more about it a link to the rules can be found here.  I’m participating in Round 4, so if you’d like to read the previous rounds click on 1, 2, and 3 for the respective hub articles.  This community event has been really fun to be a part of so far, and, with luck, I’ll get to keep playing in the next round!  For any of you who, for some silly reason, don’t want to read the full rules and regulations, my prompt is as follows:

“Match Maker! It’s a mission to find love for a malboro, the most horrifying creature in Final Fantasy history. Malboro are known for their putrid breath, breath so terrible that when exhaled on a party of adventurers, it can cause a range of status ailments from poison to confusion to becoming Doomed to die! Finding someone – or something – for a creature like that is pretty intimidating, but it’s up to you to convince the judges why your character can do it.”

If you want to read my competitor’s argument head over to Gamer’s United.  Luna is writing about the Joker so this could be a very interesting match-up!  Oh, and one more thing, the results will be posted on Adventure Rules this Friday to see who won!  So cross your fingers, wish me luck, and let’s get this party started!  Judges, word counts starts at the top the of the next paragraph.

“Hey! Listen! Link, it’s almost time for the challenge.  Wake Up!”

*Mumbling and yawning*

“I can’t believe I picked such a lazy boy to help me with this… Link, it’s challenge day!  Can you explain the argument we came up with that you are an incredible matchmaker and that you can help anyone find love?”

“. . . . .”

“Um…. A little louder for the back?”

“. . . . .”

*Sigh* “Fine.  Why don’t I just tell them.”

Link, the Hero of Time and defender of Hyrule, has always been up to a challenge.  When he heard about this one it was no different.  He knew that finding love for a creature as horrific as a malboro would be tough, but he’s never backed down from a fight and he never will.

First, Link must use his triforce of courage.  Only the most brave and fearless could stand to be near a malboro long enough to learn what he was really like.  Link’s ability to stay calm in the face of overwhelming danger would allow him to hang out, learn, and find the positive aspects of such a creature.  Link’s incessant questions to everyone, including asking the same questions over and over again, would allow him to discover who malboro truly was.  This knowledge would be invaluable to finding a true love for this monster.  He would also utilize his companion, be it fairy, sword spirit, or twilight princess, to learn everything he could about malboros.  He would learn the creature’s weaknesses in order to help the potential mate know when it was safe to approach their true love.

After learning about his foe… I mean, friend… he would start to search for the right person to love such a monster.  Link loves to travel, usually covering vast countries and lands to discover everything he can about other people, cultures, and races.  This knowledge will help him choose the person most likely to love a malboro.  After using his persistence and questioning skills he will have found the person just right for the malboro – looking for love and slightly desperate.

Once the potential soul mate has been found he’d start a letter campaign, knowing that the best way to get these two to fall in love would be long-distance.  So he’d deliver these letters back and forth between the lover’s, like he’s always done.  He reminded me that every incarnation of himself has played matchmaker regardless of race, age, and distance.  He even reminded me that his incarnation during the flood (Wind Waker) was able to match a Hylian with a Moblin monster.

He’s always helping people find love and it usually bring him great joy and some kind of reward.  The promise of this reward means that he would not give up until the quest was completed.  These letters would spark true romance and, after enough of them, the malboro and his true love would finally meet.  Armed with the knowledge Link was able to pass on these two could live happily, and maybe distantly, ever after.