Hiatus

Hey guys!  Sorry for the delays in posts recently.  I’ve decided to redo a few recipes to fit better with the food you can actually collect in BotW instead of posting mediocre recipes.  On top of that I’m working on Blogger Blitz, which, if you haven’t checked out the results yet, see them here!  And finally, I’ve got a giant collaboration I’m working on for November (yes, It’ll feature an extra special surprise recipe from a different Zelda game)!  So between now and October I may be a bit sporadic.

But to get your hype on, I’ve got something really special planned for October, something really special planned for November, and something extra fun for December.  Sound like it’s worth the wait?  I hope so!

Blogger Blitz Semifinals: Movie Marauders

Blogger Blitz Semifinals: Movie Marauders

Well, everyone.  I can’t believe it happened, but happen it did.  I actually won the Blogger Blitz Round 1!  I honestly don’t know how this keeps happening.  The other competitors are so good I could swear I won’t make it out alive.  And yet, I do… Somehow I do.

But while I may have been excited at my last triumph this next one scares me to death.  Not only is the prompt incredibly vague and difficult, but my competition is out of the this world!  Athena, over at AmbiGaming, will be pitting her villain Marjolaine, against me and Ganondorf in the weirdest challenge of them all.

It’s Friday and work this week has been pretty hectic – another upstart hero tried to stop your tyrannical rise to power, the royal heir escaped your wicked clutches, and cosmetic microtransactions were just announced for your favorite video game franchise. Luckily, you’ve got a relaxing weekend planned with your buddies, a movie night complete with snacks, decorations, and total surround sound. At least, that was the plan.

Just as movie night is about to get started, your villain realizes discovers that a pack of wererats broke into the cupboard and ruined all the snacks! Now you have to figure out where to quickly obtain more snack food before your friends arrive. Panicking, you look out the window of your beachside castle and see a faint ray of hope: a beach party taking place right outside! All you have to do is steal all their party stuff and bring it to your own party and the night is saved.

Bloggers have a lot of creative freedom with this event. Who’s throwing the beach party? How will the villain approach the party to steal the goods? Will the wererats just let this slide? With so many options available, there’s no telling what will happen in this kooky Blogger Blitz event!

Guys, I didn’t even know where to begin with this one.  I really had zero ideas until very, very recently.  I’m still not even sure how I feel about my response.  But sometimes you just have to push Publish and hope for the best.  And with Ganondorf’s amazingly complex, roundabout way of thinking, what could possibly go wrong?

Rules, as always, can be found at the site of our wonderful host, Ian, at Adventure Rules, and the results of today’s challenge can be found there on Friday!


… and yet, I wonder if the problem really was Link, this hero of the winds.  Perhaps the elements and waves themselves rose against my ascent.  It’s the only thing that makes sense, after all.  Link, an upstart nobody from that tiny island, could never have bested the great Ganondorf, without help from a power nearly as great as me.  I’ll ensure that my next attack is more carefully planned.  Perhaps a foray into a realm where I control the elements, somewhere Dark, will ensure victory.

Ganondorf looked up from his post, stretching, and clicked “Publish”.  Without those pesky monkeys to thwart him, publishing his memoirs had become significantly easier.  It’s always the same, he thought, if I want something done correctly, it must be done myself.  He stood and strode through his personal sanctum and into the drawing room, mindlessly glancing out the windows at the rocky shores of his Forsaken Fortress beachside castle.

forbidden fortress

“I suppose I have the consolation of uninviting those pesky Moblins who failed me from tonight’s party.  How disappointed they’ll be to know that I and my faithful servants will be watching past highlights of my rise to power and fame without them.  While all have failed me in the past, some have, at least, died for me.  Those few souls, the ones who deserved reincarnation through my mighty power, shall be there.  Now, let’s see… food, prepared by my hands, and four hours of film should be enough to throw the best party this forsaken land has ever seen.  Muwahahahaha!”

As he continued to pace Ganondorf glanced out the furthest window, and paused.  There were lights on the beaches visible through that window.  He strode over, fury building inside him.

“The audacity!  Throwing a party on my beach mere days after destroying my plans.  Who could possibly be so bold?”

Ganonforf squinted, straining his eyes.  He let out a frustrated growl.  It was impossible to tell at this distance.  He let out a wild screech, calling his faithful Helmaroc King to his side.

“Go!” he said. “Bring me news of those invaders on my privacy.”

helmorac king

In a burst of wind and wings the Helmaroc King took flight, streaking into the distance to reconnoiter the pinpricks of dancing firelight.  In his rage, Ganondorf paced through the drawing room and into the kitchens, venting his anger with well-placed kicks at the furniture.

As he entered the kitchen a flurry of activity caught his attention and drew his focus.  Large, black figures scattered into the shadows.  Ganondorf lit the candles with a burst of magic.  He gasped in horror.  It was gone.  All of it was gone.  The monster cakes, monster curry, and monster stew – all vanished with the black shapes, only purple crumbs and grains of rice remaining.  At the sound of his gasp wererats poked their noses back into the kitchen, creeping from their hiding places in triumph.  Letting out a scream of frustration, Ganondorf threw his arms forward, purple arcs of lightening shooting from his hands, scattering the wererats like leaves in a wind.

“I WILL NOT HAVE THIS PARTY RUINED!”

With his outburst of energy he began to calm.  As his chest heaved and his breathing slowly became controlled he could feel the formation of a plan beginning.  To punish all those who threatened his night of wallowing in past successes was utmost on his mind.  As he stood, wheels turning, grasping for a plan to bring vengeance and destruction to his enemies a fell call rang out above him.  His faithful bird, the Helmaroc King, was swiftly descending toward the castle.  Ganondorf swept out onto the ledge and waited, patience an attribute well-developed through centuries of being sealed in the Sacred Realm.

“Kaw, KAWWW kkkaw, screech, kaaw cacaww”

“I see…” mused Ganondorf.  “Those fools truly believed I had gone.  Me.  The most powerful sorcerer Hyrule has ever known…  This affront deserves a special punishment.  No, no, death is too good for these miscreants.  I’ll have to think of something truly clever for this… Oh, and there are some wererats around the castle, attempting to destroy my evening.  Dispose of them.  They should make an adequate dinner for a keen, clever beast like you.”

ganondorf

And as Ganondorf trailed off into silent thought an ingenious plan, fully formed, broke through.  He smiled and chuckled.  Yes.  Yes!  This will gain me all I deserve – their food and the ruin of their party! Hmhahaha…

***

Out along the beaches the party was raging.  Pirates, Koroks, and Rito were all present, reveling in the demise of their hated enemy.  Cakes, pies, and tarts stood in a long array at a table near the fire.  The Koroks and Rito had even brought along harps and violins and music and laughter echoed across the beach.  The Evil King was gone!  Their homes and friends were safe!  What could possibly be go wrong?

All at once the sound of oars sound brought the music to a screeching halt.  A large raft was winding its way across the shores, dragging behind it a massive form.  Everyone huddled together, fear rushing across their faces, a few screams erupting.  Could he possibly be back?  Could he have escaped the doom the Hero of Winds had inflicted?  They watched with baited breath as the shape loomed closer, hardly daring to move.  When it finally touched ground near their fire a gasp went up from them.  A man lumbered out, tall and menacing in the half-light.  He moved into the firelight and a collective sigh of relief escaped the group.  It was only the Traveling Merchant.

“My friends!  Don’t be afraid.  It is I, Munfrnmahan, and I’m merely your humble, traveling merchant.  As I was searching the castle of the Evil King for trinkets to sell I heard the festivities from your party.  I’ve come to help brighten it.  As I was searching I found a machine that’s beyond compare.  A puppet used by Ganon in his evil attempt to destroy our very own Hero of Winds.  Seeing, with your own eyes, the scars and wounds of its battle with that… great… hero, is truly magnificent.  I’d love to share with you the experience of standing within the beast and beholding the awesome power of the Hero of Winds.  However, such a long journey has exhausted me beyond compare, and in my career food can be scarce and difficult to come by.  If you would be willing to give me, say, one pie, cake or tart, in exchange for each person entering the marionette I could say that my time was well spent in search of such treasures of victory!  What say you?”

puppet ganon

As he had slinked closer to the firelight a few partygoers noticed some strange differences between the Traveling Merchant they had known and this new merchant.  But as he pulled Puppet Ganon into the light all eyes were on it, and even those predisposed to be suspicious gave way to the awe of witnessing the might of their hero.  A murmur of agreement rippled through the crowd and, as the Merchant quickly set up the marionette to its full towering height, a rush of grabbing hands flew to the food table and began shoving every last treat in the direction of the Merchant.  To have a chance to view the beast Link had destroyed first-hand?  That was something no one could pass up.  As the merchant slowly placed pie after tart after pie onto his raft he chuckled quietly, mirthlessly, to himself.

After a few moments of shoving nearly every partygoer was inside the puppet, touching the gaping holes left by the Master Sword and scrambling over each other to see through the puppet’s eyes.  When the very last Rito feather and pirate cutlass were inside a sudden blaze of purple light blinded the horizon.  A deep, cold laugh sounded and a scream of panic erupted from the party.

wind waker ganon

“You fools!  Did you truly think I was gone?  The great, powerful Ganondorf?  I not only have your food, but I now have you, trapped inside this massive, disappointing servant.  In fact, so disappointing, I had no problem doing this!” And with a snap of his fingers the outer layer of the puppet disappeared, leaving behind a towering, puppet-shaped cage, locking every person inside.

“And now, for the greatest revenge of all.  You, and your miserable band of revelers, will join me at the most incredible party of all time.  A memoir to me and my unspeakable triumphs, 4 hours of food and film showing my rise to victory and Hyrule under my rule.  And thanks to you, I know this party will be a success.”

***

Sometime later, after using his considerable magic to move the cage across the beach and into the castle, he sat back and laughed.  Ah, yes, he thought.  His enemies forced to witness his triumphs from their self-inflicted cage while his sycophants witness his triumph!  What could possibly be better than this…

Prime Meat and Rice Bowl

Prime Meat and Rice Bowl

When I was a kid my cousins lived within a few blocks from us and nearly every Sunday was spent with them at our house or us at theirs for dinner.  And my very favorite thing my cousin made was homemade teriyaki chicken.  Delicious, incredible teriyaki chicken.  It was so good, and so special to her, that we called it Brenda-yaki chicken in honor of her.  Seriously.  It even says Brenda-yaki Chicken on my recipe card.  And I’m thrilled to share it with you because you’re going to love it, too!  You’ll like it.  So much that maybe you’ll call it *pause for dramatic effect* Teri-yaki chicken…

Prime Meat and Rice Bowl
time and difficulty

So lets start with the rice.  Honestly, this takes the longest, so lets get it going!  It’s just like the way we make rice in the Meat and Rice Bowl.  Simply add rice to the rice cooker, rinse several times, and add water until it covers up to the first joint in your pointer finger over the rice.  Turn it on.  And leave.  I really don’t know what I’d do without a rice cooker.

Next we need to cut the green onions into 1 inch-long strips.  Doesn’t have to be pretty, but it does need to come first.  You see, you could cut the chicken first and then cut the green onions, but you’d have to either dirty another knife and cutting board OR wash this one in between.  Let’s get real, folks, dishes are the worst.  So instead of taking all those extra steps (and in the name of food safety and Salmonella-less summers) we cut the onions and then the chicken!

Third, trim the excess fat off the chicken then slice it into strips about 1/2 inch wide and any length long.  That one’s a personal preference.  Now, let’s get real, I’m using boneless chicken thighs not because I prefer them, but because they’re what the recipe calls for.  You want it to be prime?  Gotta be chicken thighs.  So if you’d like to use chicken breasts, be my guest!  Though, now that I’ve used it, I may never go back – they were absolutely juicy and delicious!  I think I understand now why people sing the praises of thigh meat…

Okay – Focus!  Fourth is make the sauce.  Its pretty easy.  Measure out the sugar, soy sauce, and garlic powder into a container.  Stir until combined, taste for garlic adjustments (I like my garlic to be strong!) and allow to sit, stirring occasionally, to dissolve the sugars.

all the ingredients

And now, once the rice is done and on the “warm” setting, of course, we cook.  Why do we wait until the rice is done?  Because this takes about 6-7 minutes to cook and you don’t want to wait for your rice to finish while your chicken is getting cold.

Remember that wok I told you to buy?  Well it would sure come in handy about now!  Let’s pull it out, shall we?… Oh wait… you didn’t buy it?… Fine.  Be that way.  Well you can easily make this recipe in a pan.  Would it be better in a wok?  Of course, don’t be ridiculous.  But you can do it in a pan just fine.  Just follow all the steps like normal, then sit in a corner and think about what you’ve done.

boiling sauceAdd oil to the pan/wok and half the green onions.  Turn the heat on high, as high as it’ll go (for a wok) or medium high (for a pan) and wait until the onions start popping.  Add the chicken, sprinkle on the salt, and cook, stirring constantly, for 3 minutes, or until they’re no longer pink on the outside.  Add the remainder of the green onions and all of the teriyaki sauce (which, if you kept stirring it, should have all the sugar dissolved).  Stir until everything is coated and allow to boil and cook for 3 more minutes, or until the sauce starts to thicken.  Be warned, if you cook this in a pan, you’ll want to do it in a tall pan (maybe even a pot).  The sauce foams like crazy when it boils and it’ll grow to about double it’s height.  Don’t believe me?  Check out the photo.

teriyaki chicken detail

When the sauce is thickened turn off the heat, serve over rice, and enjoy!

Link’s Prime Meat and Rice Bowl recipe:

        • Raw Prime Meat or Raw Bird Thigh
        • Hylian Rice
        • Rock Salt

Prime Meat and Rice Bowl

  • Servings: 2
  • Difficulty: easy
  • Print

Chicken Teriyaki with homemade sauce

Ingredients

  • 4 chicken thighs, boneless
  • 1 bunch (5-6) green onions
  • 1.5 teaspoons kosher salt
  • 1 cup soy sauce
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1.5 teaspoons garlic powder
  • 1/3 cup canola or vegetable oil
  • 2 cups sushi (Calrose) rice
  • enough water to cover the rice

Directions

  1. Rinse 2 cups of rice several times and then add to a rice cooker. Add water until the level is up to your first knuckle on your pointer finger when your finger is resting on top of the rice.
  2. Start the rice cooker
  3. Cut the green onions into 1 inch-long strips.
  4. Trim the excess fat from the chicken then it into strips about 1/2 inch wide and any length long. I prefer 2 inches long.
  5. Make the sauce by adding the sugar, soy sauce, and garlic powder in a container.  Stir until combined, taste for garlic adjustments and allow to sit, stirring occasionally, to dissolve the sugars.
  6. When the rice is cooked heat a wok on high or a pan/pot on medium high.
  7. Add oil to the pan/wok and half the green onions.
  8. Add the chicken, sprinkle on the salt, and cook, stirring constantly, for 3 minutes, or until they’re no longer pink on the outside.
  9. Add the remainder of the green onions and all of the teriyaki sauce (which, if you kept stirring it, should have all the sugar dissolved).
  10. Stir until everything is coated and allow to boil and cook for 3 more minutes, or until the sauce starts to thicken.  Be warned, if you cook this in a pan, you’ll want to do it in a tall pan or pot as the sauce foams like crazy when it boils and it’ll double it’s height.
  11. When the sauce is thickened turn off the heat, serve over rice, and enjoy!

Blogger Blitz Round 1: Blogger Blitzception

Blogger Blitz Round 1: Blogger Blitzception

Hey everyone!  By some unexpected chance, and though I hadn’t planned on participating this year, I am yet again a competitor in the coolest competition around!  For those of you who missed it the first time check out Ian, at Adventure Rules, blog.  He not only lists the round challenges and the overall rules, but that’s also where we will find the results!  Yay!  If you want to skip that article (BOO!  Shame on you!) then here’s a little explanation of the rules:

  • Each round of the competition has a 1000 word limit for round 1. There are no limitations on writing style.  Remember to pack your 1000 words with content that helps to prove why your character is the best at the event!
  • Within your own post, you define the circumstances and how difficult it is for your character to overcome the event. So be sure to craft circumstances which portray your character as overcoming odds that only they could possibly surmount. If the challenge is too easy, it takes some of the impact away from your argument. Judges like to see clever solutions!
  • Get ahead of the game and cover your weak points so that when the judges have to consider the negatives of each approach, you’ve already anticipated it and come up with a solution!

Who is my competition, you ask?  Flame Flash who will be sponsoring Sigma, the antagonist from the Mega Man series.  And who had loads more time than me to prepare.  And who is an incredible writer.  Guys… it may be my first and last round in the Blogger Blitz challenge this year…

And what is the challenge?  Oh you know, only something so complex I had to read it 4 times before I even understood what they were asking for…

In a competition where bloggers submit blog posts about their favorite characters for a panel of judges to determine which is the best, they’ll be challenged to write a blog post about their favorite character writing a blog post. Then the post within the post will be judged by the judges to determine which blogger wins, which by extension will determine which blogger wins. What? As if that’s not complicated enough, each villain has been sent a nefarious “helper” by their rivals – a three-headed monkey! The monkey does all the typing for them, so how can each villain use their abilities to influence the monkey to write rightly? It’s the blogger blitz within the Blogger Blitz – it’s Blogger Blitzception!

So without further ado, my blog within a blog (and my word count) starts below this line.


Oh the aklnm;slkdf ;jp[aje

ganondorf triumphant

NO! Stop it, monkey.  I am Ganon, the holder of the Goddess Din’s Triforce of Power, reincarnation of the Demon Demise himself.  You WILL obey me.  Now…. Write this:

Oh the struggle, the turmoil.  Why is ittt ttttthatttt pppsppdpdmmvvlcxle

ganondorf frustrated

NO!  This post, monkey, will be the inspiration of generations to come!  I am the master of all dark powers and, King of the Gerudo, and the rightful King of Hyrule.  All who wish to bow down before me must understand me.  This wisdom will be sought through the end of time.  And through it I will choose lesser minions to serve beneath my hand, for when I am King I will be King forever! Mwahahahaha.

Oh the struggle, the turmoil.  Why is it that people continnu to opose mme?  I, wwwwhoooo ams;lk the rigj ;lkdtful ruulelsller

Ganondorf

*sigh*.  I suppose this will take more effort than I originally thought.  Who knew a three-headed monkey, that cursed gift from that idiot sympathizer from Faron, would be this troublesome?  How could he be manipulated to obey?  It’s quite simple.  That’s all I ask.  Complete and blind obedience to my every need.  As the conqueror of Hyrule it should be given to me.  Hmmmm….

A banana.  Is that what you want, you good, kind, helpful monkey?  I’ll give you a banana every time you type a correct sentence.  Deal? Then let’s get moving…

Oh the struggle, the turmoil.  Why is it that people continue to oppose me?  I, who am the rightful ruler of all Hyrule?  I, who am the rightful ruler of all Hyrule?  I, who am the rightful ruler of all Hyrule?  I, Demise himself, who asks nothing but subservience and utter domination?  I, Demise himself, who asks nothing but subservience and utter domination?  I, Demise himself, who asks nothing but subservience and utter domination?

angry ganondorf

STOP!  That is NOT what I wanted.  That is NOT what I meant.  You are willfully disobeying me!

*Leaves to play the organ for several minutes*

*deep breaths* Now that my calm has been restored I have an idea, an improvement, if you will.  Utilizing the dark magic at which I am so adept I’ll simply bend your minds to my will.  Force you to become the mindless minion you are to simply do as I ask.  Oh, don’t worry, monkey, you won’t notice a thing.

O the struggle the turmoil y is it that people continue 2 oppose me I who am the rightful ruler of all hyrule I demise himself who asks nothing but subservience and utter domination its… that… night…  the… socalled… hero… of… hyrule… its… his… fault… my… slaves… continue… 2… rise…….. up……….

NOOOOO!  Mindless!  Stupid. Idiot. Monkey!

ganondorf sword

*In a fit of rage he raises his sword and chops off two of the monkey’s heads.  Cauterizes wounds with dark magic.  Lifts spell from third head.*

There.  No more mistakes, no more fooling around.  You, monkey, WILL do my bidding or the same fate awaits your final head.  NOW, TYPE!

Oh the struggle, the turmoil.  Why is it that people continue to oppose me?  I, who am the rightful ruler of all Hyrule?  I, Demise himself, who asks nothing but subservience and utter domination? 

It’s that knight.  The so-called “Hero of Hyrule”.  It’s his fault my slaves continue to rise up.  It’s HIS fault my plans fail.  I am thwarted at every turn because of this… man-child.  This Link.  I am the great, powerful Ganon!  How can a simple, small boy continue to overthrow my best-laid plans?  First it was my attempt to rise as myself with the help of my faithful demon Ghirahim.  And my reincarnation, this powerful, debonair Ganondorf, with so much promise, continually thrown down.  Is it him, this Link?  Or is it simply my incompetent belief in those I manipulate?  Agahnim, Yuga, Zant, all failures.  Perhaps that is my true downfall.  Perhaps my manipulations of these minions was never strong enough, my… faith… was misplaced.  This newest attempt may need a different strategy.  Something to counter the nuisance of the “Goddess’s chosen hero”.  Something to finally squash him like the insect he is so that I, Ganondorf, the most powerful being ever, can reign victorious at last!

You, the mindless rabble who WILL obey me, cannot know the strain of such a brat, always snapping at my heels.  You think this is easy, laying plans, always subverting Hyrule to my whim.  But the thought of that boy eats away at my peace.  He fills me with pure Malice, and slowly gnaws away my incredible intellect to the point that I struggle to foresee mistakes.  Oh the agony of my minion’s mistakes that have allowed that… boy… to defeat me!  It should never have happened.  It will not happen again.  I, Ganondorf, am more than capable of crushing him without any effort.  Perhaps it will take all my cunning, without the use of a mindless puppet, to overcome the Triforce of Courage.  And perhaps this blog will be my greatest form of brainstorming.  The place where all my best-laid plans will finally be perfected and find fruition in the defeat of that whelp.  Perhaps this next time I’ll use a new set of minions… One made entirely of metal…

Prime Poultry Pilaf

Prime Poultry Pilaf

As a working mom I am incredibly fond of easy make, easy clean up meals.  While I wish I could spend 5 hours making dinner every night, with fantastic results, I usually only have about an hour MAX to throw toward my favorite meal of the day.  And this recipe was so easy, and had so little hands-on time, it may become a new mid-week staple at our house.  Hey, if it’s good enough for Link, it’s good enough for me!

Prime Poultry PilafHeader and Meter

Start by taking the chicken out of the fridge about 10 minutes before you cook it.  Frankly, as a microbiologist, I cannot condone taking chicken out any earlier than that.  If you wanna know how I feel about poultry, as a microbiologist, find me on the twitter or the instagram…   But we do want to take the chill off the chicken before we cook it.  So 10 minutes is probably good.

seasoned chicken

Now here’s the normal drill: pat the chicken dry with a paper towel, rub with spices, and get ready for the most chill and delicious meal I’ve posted in a long, llloonnngggg time.

First and foremost, the easiest way to make this recipe is with a pan that can be used both on the stove and in the oven.  Cast iron, enameled cast iron, even some stainless steel pans can be used on the stove and in the oven.  I use an enameled cast iron pan for this and it made both making it and cleaning up a piece of cake.  If you don’t have anything that’ll work for both simply use a pan on the stove for the first part and we will get to the second part later.  But if you can possibly invest in an enameled cast iron braiser or pan, trust me, it’s worth it.

Second and secondmost, you’ll want to use a long grain, non-sticky rice for this recipe.  While I pledge my heart and soul to calrose sushi rice it simply doesn’t work for rice pilaf.  Jasmine rice or even long grain brown rice would work really well in this particular recipe.

Heat the oil in your chosen pan on medium.  When the oil is hot gently add the chicken by laying it away from you to prevent splashes.  Cook for 2-3 minutes, depending on the thickness of the thigh.  Turn the chicken and cook for another 2-3 minutes.  Using the side of your pan, lay the thighs up on each side for 1-2 minutes to sear in all the liquid.  You can do this by leaning them against each other and the side of the pan, then switching sides and repeating until all 6 sides (4 edges, 2 big sides) are seared.  Remove the chicken from the pan and place on a plate.

Add the chopped onion to the oil in the pan and cook until it begins to sweat, about 2-3 minutes.  At that point add the orzo pasta and continue stirring and cooking until the pasta begins to change color to a light brown, about 2 minutes.  Add the rice and cook until the rice is glistening, about 2-3 minutes.  Add about 1/4-1/3 cup of the chicken stock  and scrape hard at the bottom of the pan to deglaze it.  This will ensure all the delicious flavor (called fond) stuck at the bottom will be in your broth.  Add the remaining chicken stock and spices and stir.  Heat until simmering, stirring periodically.

add the chicken to the rice

Once the liquid is simmering gently lay the chicken on top of the rice mixture.  You want the chicken to rest on top of the rice, so gently is the key here.  Place the lid on the pan and put in the oven.  Bake for 30 minutes.  If you’re one of the poor, unfortunate souls (in pain, in need) who doesn’t have a pan that can transition between the stove and the oven oil an oven-safe pan that has a lid and transfer the liquid and rice to the pan.  Lay the chicken on top of the rice, cover, and place in the oven to bake.  This method may take 35-40 minutes to cook, because the pan isn’t hot going into the oven.  But don’t check the rice until 30 minutes.  At that point, if there is still liquid left, simply bake uncovered for 5-10 minutes until the liquid is gone.

check the rice

While the rice is cooking scramble an egg or two.  It’s as easy as heating up a small pan with the butter, adding two eggs, and pushing the eggs around until they’re set but not overcooked.  You got this.

After 30 minutes open the lid and check the rice for done-ness.  There should be no more liquid remaining and the rice should be nice and fluffy.  If you are worried about the chicken being cooked all the way through simply test it using an instant read thermometer.  The thighs should be at 165°F.  Add the eggs to the rice, mix, and fluff.  Serve with a side of veggies and enjoy!

chicken close up

Link’s Prime Poultry Pilaf recipe:

      • Raw Bird Thigh
      • Hylian Rice
      • Bird Egg
      • Goat Butter

Prime Poultry Pilaf

  • Servings: 5
  • Difficulty: moderately easy
  • Print

One-pot chicken thighs with rice pilaf

Chicken

  • 5 chicken thighs, can be with or without bones
  • 2 teaspoons paprika
  • 2 teaspoons garlic salt
  • 1.5 teaspoons kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper

Rice

  • 1 small onion
  • 1/4 cup orzo pasta
  • 1 3/4 cup long grain rice, such as Jasmine rice
  • 3.5 cups chicken stock
  • 2 teaspoons kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper
  • 2 teaspoons ground mustard

Directions

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 350°F.
  2. Take the chicken out of the fridge about 10 minutes before you cook it.
  3. Pat the chicken dry with a paper towel and rub with the spice rub.
  4. Heat the oil in a cast iron pan, or any pan that can be placed in the oven with a lid.
  5. When the oil is hot gently add the chicken by laying it away from you to prevent splashes.  Cook for 2-3 minutes, depending on the thickness of the thigh.  Turn the chicken and cook for another 2-3 minutes.  Using the side of your pan, lay the thighs up on each side for 1-2 minutes to sear in all the liquid.  You can do this by leaning them against each other and the side of the pan, then switching sides and repeating until all 6 sides (4 edges, 2 big sides) are seared.  Remove the chicken from the pan and place on a plate.
  6. Add the chopped onion to the oil in the pan and cook until it begins to sweat, about 2-3 minutes.
  7. Add the orzo pasta and continue stirring and cooking until the pasta begins to change color to a light brown, about 2 minutes.
  8. Add the rice and cook until the rice is glistening, about 2-3 minutes.
  9. Add about 1/4-1/3 cup of the chicken stock and scrape hard at the bottom of the pan to deglaze it.  Add the remaining chicken stock and spices and stir.  Heat until simmering, stirring periodically.
  10. Once the liquid is simmering gently lay the chicken on top of the rice mixture. Place the lid on the pan and put in the oven.
  11. Bake for 30 minutes.
  12. While the rice is cooking heat up a small pan with the butter. When the butter begins bubbling add the two eggs and cook, stirring continually until they’re set but not overcooked.
  13. After 30 minutes open the lid and check the rice for done-ness.  There should be no more liquid remaining and the rice should be nice and fluffy.  If you are worried about the chicken being cooked all the way through simply test it using an instant read thermometer.  The thighs should be at 165°F.  Serve with a side of veggies and enjoy!

Zelda Collaboration Project

IT’S HERE! It’s finally here!  The Zelda collaboration blog, hosted by Matt at Normal Happenings, is finally published for all the world to see.

Guys, this project is insane.  It was tons of bloggers adding their input on the sights and sounds of Hyrule.  How cool is that?!  And all of their hard work, and especially Matt’s hard work, should be recognized.  So please go check it out!  I don’t want to reblog here, because I want you to go to this amazing person’s site and see everything the way he planned it.  He deserves that.

OH!  And in case you were interested, I included 2 new recipes for this project.  Yay!  To see them just head on over…

Hyrule: See the Sights, Hear the Sounds!

Meat Pie

Meat Pie

It’s been a while.  I know this.  I have no apology.  But what I do have is this incredible and easy Meat Pie recipe.  Trust me, you’ll accidentally eat every single one the second they cool down enough to shove into your mouth.  And you won’t even feel bad about it.  So in honor of that feeling, let’s get rid of all guilt associated with not posting for a while and just get on with the show!

OH! And as a side note, I finished exploring every. little. section and area of BotW except the final castle.  It’s done!  And tonight I’m totally finishing the castle.  Here’s hoping I find the last few things I’m missing there…

And without further waiting on your end:

Meat Piedifficulty and time

Start by making the pastry dough.  This has to chill for at least an hour so it should always be your first step.  If you want to make the dough far ahead it can be chilled up to overnight in the fridge before use.  So make life, and dinner, a little easier on yourself and make it when you have a spare 10 minutes.

Put some water into a cup and add a cube or two of ice.  The colder the water, the better the pastry will turn out.  Add the flour to a bowl and cut up the cold (it must be cold, just like the pie crust recipe in Apple Pie) butter into 1-2 tablespoon chunks.

Now let’s rub the cold butter into the flour until it resembles bread crumbs with some pea-sized chunks of butter left.  You don’t want it too fine or you won’t get a nice flaky crust!  … maybe next time I’ll make a gif of how to do this.  I’m just now realizing that would probably be nice…

Now add 2/3 cup water to the dough and mix until it completely comes together and forms a ball.  This is a far more forgiving recipe than my pie crust (even though the method is the same) so a little extra handling won’t necessarily hurt it… but I wouldn’t work it too much.  You should still see large chunks of butter in your dough.

Split it in half and press into a square shape about an inch thick.  Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate until you’re ready for it.

Now, the key to the filling on this meat pie is dicing everything up really small.  Like, say, 1/4 inch cubes.  This goes for the carrots, the onion, and the roast.  Normally with my recipes size doesn’t really matter.  But in this case we want everything to cook properly and be able to squish as much as possible in the little pastry cases, so size becomes very important.

add the bowl

Once they’re all cut up put them together in a bowl and mix with a spoon to combine.  Add all the spices and stir until the spices coat everything.  I’d start with the smallest amount of spices and then, based on look and smell (please don’t taste it!  There’s raw meat in there…) add the rest if you feel like it’s necessary.  I, personally, use all the spices.  I like my food to have some flavor!  Also – yeah, yeah, I know that meat pie doesn’t traditionally have random vegetables thrown in.  But I can’t really make something like this, which feels like a full meal, without adding at least one vegetable to it.  So it’ll be fine.

mix it up

Take the dough from the refrigerator and lightly flour a large surface.  Place the dough on the surface and roll it out into a large rectangle, about 1/8 inch thick.

roll it out

Start by rolling in once direction several times until it makes a large square.  Then rotate it 90°, add more flour under the dough, and roll it out until it forms your triangle.  Repeat with the other piece, making sure both are the same size.

Take the largest round cutter you have (mine happened to be 3.5 inches long) and cut circles into your pastry.  Cut the same amount of circles into each pastry rectangle – these will serve as your bottom and your top.  If you’re really feeling ambitious you can gather the scraps and roll them out once more for even more pies.  I didn’t really feel like doing that so I simply threw the scraps away.  If you’re feeling lazy and the idea of wasted scraps horrifies you, simply cut the pastry into an equal amount (and equal sizes) of squares on both pastries and call it good.  It’s all about presentation and how much you’re willing to give to it.

rounds of pastry

Transfer half of the square/circle pastries to a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or silicone baking sheets.  Fill each square/circle with your meat filling.  Now, we want to fill to within 1/2 inch of the sides of the pastry case and we want it to be no more than stacked double in the center.  That’s very specific, I know, but if you fill it too much the case will either split mid-bake or you’ll be unable to get the top on in the first place!

add the filling

Next, dip your fingers into water and brush the empty edges of the pastries.  Lay the last half of the pastries on top of the first half to make enclosed pies.  Gently press the pastries halves together with your fingers and then seal with a fork by pressing into the edges.  This will crimp the pastries together and (fingers crossed) hopefully prevent them from leaking.  After your pastries are crimped poke 3-4 holes in the top.  It helps release the steam to prevent mini explosions in your oven

Whisk an egg with a fork and brush the top of the pastries with the beaten egg.  This will give you a nice, beautiful, crispy, shiny crust!  The best kind, in my opinion!  Place in the oven and bake for about 45-60 minutes, or until the pastries are nice and browned and/or and internal temperature has been reached of about 165ish.  We can be less specific because we’re using roast and beef instead of poultry.

Remove from the oven and serve warm!

not header

Link’s Meat Pie recipe:

      • Any Meat
      • Goat Butter
      • Rock Salt
      • Tabantha Wheat

Meat Pie

  • Servings: 13 3 inch pies
  • Difficulty: moderate
  • Print

Meat pies with carrots and onion

Pastry

  • 3 cups plus 2 tablespoons (455g) all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup plus 5 tablespoons (300g) cold butter, cut into tablespoons
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 2/3 cup (150ml) ice cold water

Filling

  • 1 pound beef roast
  • 2 medium carrots
  • 1/4 medium onion
  • 2-3 teaspoons salt
  • 2-3 teaspoons garlic powder
  • 1-2 teaspoons black pepper

Directions

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 400°F and add some ice to a small cup of water.
  2. Add the flour and salt to a mixing bowl. Cut the butter into tablespoon-sized pieces. Add the butter to the flour and begin rubbing it between your fingers while adding flour. This will create a breadcrumb-like texture. Make sure you leave some butter pieces as large as peas.
  3. Add 2/3 cup of your ice water and mix until combined. There should still be chunks of butter visible in the dough.
  4. Split the dough into two equal pieces, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for at least an hour but up to overnight.
  5. Dice the roast, carrots, and onion into small 1/4 inch cubes. Place them in a bowl and mix with a spoon until combined.
  6. Add the smaller amount of spices and then, based on look and smell add the rest if you feel it’s necessary.  I, personally, use all the spices. Stir until thoroughly mixed.
  7. Take the dough from the refrigerator and lightly flour a large surface.  Place the dough on the surface and roll it out into a large rectangle, about 1/8 inch thick.
  8. Roll the dough by rolling in once direction several times until it makes a large square.  Then rotate it 90°, add more flour under the dough, and roll it out until it forms your triangle.
  9. Repeat with the other piece, making sure both are the same size.
  10. Using a large round cutter cut circles into your pastry. Repeat on the other half of the pastry dough, ensuring you have the same amount of circles on each side. You may gather the scraps and re-roll the dough to cut more circles if you wish, but only re-roll once to prevent a tough pastry. Or, alternatively, cut your pastry into even squares, ensuring there’s an even number on each half.
  11. Transfer half of the square/circle pastries to a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or silicone baking sheets.  Fill each square/circle with your meat filling to within 1/2 inch of the sides of the pastry case and no more than stacked double in the center.
  12. Dip your fingers into water and brush the empty edges of the pastries.
  13. Lay the last half of the pastries on top of the first half to make enclosed pies.  Gently press the pastries halves together with your fingers and then seal with a fork by pressing into the edges.  Poke 3-4 holes in the top.
  14. Whisk an egg with a fork and brush the top of the pastries with the beaten egg. Place in the oven and bake for about 45-60 minutes, or until the pastries are nice and browned and/or and internal temperature has been reached of about 165ish. Serve warm.